Category: Lists


Ewen’s Top 5 Albums of 2012

We’ve not written anything in ages because we are lazy & dead inside. Thankfully the end of the year has arrived giving us a chance to round up all those albums we really wanted to review but never got round to because…. I can’t even be bothered to think of an excuse. Sorry kids. Anyway, it has been a pretty spectacular year for music & here are the first 5 albums I could think of that may or may not have come out in 2012.

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Five Reasons Why You Should Be At Bloodstock

Well, let’s start with the big one. We’ll be there. Yes, your favourite people in the whole wide world (shut up, we are) are going to set up camp, drink a few bottles of gin & go for a naked jog about the campsite. Probably the best thing you’ll see all weekend.

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Top 10 Worst Metal Covers

The original version was one of the ballsiest rock anthems of it’s time, with lyrics such as ‘the fighting has begun’ and ‘death is just a heartbeat away’, and with Gary Moore’s epic, strong voice belting them out. Then, lo and behold, these finnish lads have to go and make it a softy anthem with Tony Kakko’s pussy vocals and the excessive amount of keyboards Sonata Arctica seem to have been putting into their recent albums. This is supposed to be a battle song, not a whingey poem. Gary and Phil must be spinning in their graves.

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Haar’s Top 10 Albums Of 2010

Easily the best true metal/Doom band around at the moment – this band can do no wrong! Perhaps not quite as amazing as Iron Will, but essential none-the-less. I was initially a bit annoyed when Grand Magus abandoned their doom roots but with their last two releases they’ve blown any doubts I might have harboured right out the water!

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Colonel Blast’s Top 10 Albums Of 2010

Colonel Blast‘s “What on earth was all that shouting about” List. It’s been pretty hard coming up with 10 albums that were released in 2010 that really audially sucked us off big time. Diascorium tried to suck us all off but we flat out refused, between Paul Priest’s owly beak, Bernards carefully constructed tramp chic and Gareths “sideburns on a childs face” look there wasn’t an option we were willing to test with our mighty girth, we considered David Bond for a minute due to his wonderfully conditioned hair and pantene advert looks, but he wasn’t up for offering it up from behind so we weren’t given the option to pretend he was a woman. It doesn’t matter how good that hair looks, it’s still his face that it surrounds.

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Lich King’s Top 9 Albums Of 2010

Coming up with this list revealed a sad thing about me- I didn’t even listen to ten albums this year. I didn’t even check out the new Iron Maiden… after Dance of Death I didn’t have the heart to pop back in on my erstwhile favorite metal band and hear what they’re not doing. I tend to be pretty monogamous to the classics and down on what’s happening these days in metal, so it’s rare for me to even try something new. Couple that with my legendarily limited range of taste- I only like so much- and you’ve got a recipe for the most absent metal fan out there.

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Groan’s Top 10 Albums Of 2010

With the end of the year rapidly approaching, we thought we’d catch up with some of our favourite bands & find out what they’d been listening to. First up are old school riff addicts, Groan – http://www.myspace.com/groanuk. We let them fight it out over who they wanted in their top 10. Appearing from a cloud of smoke, they returned with this list of doom, doom & a bit more doom. So here it is, in no specific order:

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Leave The Hall Presents Get Damned Or Die Trying

1 day, 3 stages, 25 bands. It’s safe to say things are going to get pretty hectic but don’t worry, we’ve got you sorted. We’re going to give you a handy list of the bands you really shouldn’t miss out on.

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Metal’s 4 Greatest Mysteries… Solved!

The Mystery

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The 10 Most Cringeworthy Nu-Metal Videos

Hello! Welcome to my countdown of shitness. A salute to the most atrocious audiovisual crimes ever committed in the name of baggy trousers, tribal tattoos and white rapping. Well I say that, but I seem to have missed out Kid Rock and Fred Durst. Although Fred Durst, through producing, signing, guesting or just being a cock in the background of a video is all over this list like a bad STD.

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Nightwish Pain
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