Greetings, oh lowly reader. A mere 5 months ago, we in Black Sabbath brown-nosers Groan wrote the first of what we thought would be a regular column for Leave the Hall. Then, 4 months ago a combination of numerous factors, not limited to the fact that we all had a long distance relationship with each other, were all smoking a lot more weed than our doctors had prescribed us, and the fact that we were in Burnley, ended up with us endearing ourselves to the locals of that town by starting fights with them and having some sort of great rock and roll implosion less than a year after the release of our first album.
The reasons and the stories will, I’m sure, be different in all four of our autobiographies (though expect us to have more imaginative titles than Iommi’s recent release – “Iron Man: My journey through Heaven and Hell with Black Sabbath”. Has he just finished an SEO course or something?).
Since that time we’ve settled an almost entirely new lineup with some faces that will be familiar to you, the UK doom/stoner rock fan, and completed writing our second album, “The Divine Right of Kings”. We’re recording it ourselves and will hopefully have it out in Spring 2012. It’s basically the best bits of your favourite classic rock albums changed enough to stop us from being sued. There are enough mindless choruses to get you shouting along and pumping your fist on your morning’s commute. I’d go out on a limb and say that after thirty seconds of doing this, if you’re not covered in naked ladies, then everyone on your train will at least be shouting with you: “GODS OF FIRE! GODS OF FIRE! FILL ME WITH DESIRE! GODS OF FIRE!”. The next day, society will crumble as everybody will go to work wearing double denim.
Writing this is quite fun. It’s like our own little propaganda machine, but through the filter of a third party. Despite that third party being Leave the Hall, it still means that this sloppily put together, weed inspired column is slightly more credible and subtle than a “GET GORAN 2 PLY BLOODSTOCK 2012″ Facebook campaign that we set up ourselves.
With our next album already pretty much done, we’re thinking about making album 3 a double album about outer space. Is this allowed – or have we been listening to too much Hawkwind?
Until next time, WITHER ME DOOMS!
Edit: We also just released a one off song that we’d never be able to put on an album called “The Gypsy and the Hag”. Check it out here… http://groan.bandcamp.com/