Groan - The Divine Right Of Kings

Groan – The Divine Right Of Kings

I thought it was about time that I should not baclofen buy online, Zoloft withoutprescription. be asked to write a column but write one anyway and send it to Wimps and Posers and ask if they would post it up. So here it is. As the frontman of the UK’s premier Rock and Roll band I have nothing much to say and I’m sure you’re getting that impression already. Actually I do have a lot to say but so do schizophrenics and politicians and looks how we shun them. So feel free to shun me, I’m in great company.

On the 26th October GROANS sophomore album was released to world, some say it’s arrival on the HEAVY METAL scene was like Queen Cleopatra’s arrival in Rome, some say it was like Lord Jesus emerging from the vage of the Blessed Virgin Mary and some say it’s arrival was like a rotting chicken being excreted from the man-cunt of Jeremy Clarkson. Either way, it arrived.

What I find most ‘fun’ about releasing a new piece of highly conceptual art (believe me I have been on some groundbreaking and genre creating albums, check out the Ratz Ass – Radical Christ EP) is waiting for the reviews. Nothing upsets me more than getting 5/10, 5/10 is mild Cheddar, it’s the missionary position, it’s the 9 til 5, it’s the beige. Who wants to be beige? Not me, do you? Really? What I really like is bad reviews, the bad reviews where you can really smell the anger on the words, you can hear the rage rise as the sentence progresses. That person has been forced to listen to something that offends them for what is normally a superficial reason and I get the perverse satisfaction that for about 5 mins I have made them hate. I guess I don’t take great offence to bad reviews is because I know how little effort I put into my vocal recording. For instance for this album I recorded the vocals in our drummers bedroom while slowly getting more and more drunk as the day went on. Thus I became more blase about what was coming out of my mouth and being recorded to ‘tape’, “That will do darling, I’m not singing that again”. I wanted to get the vocals done as I was in a hurry. What was I in a hurry for? Why but a pub crawl through the delightful ye old ale pubs of St Albums. Yes, I’m a professional. The pub crawl did not disappoint! In one pub we saw a Blackie Lawless look-a-like murdering some Classic Rock covers. They were a proper band, we could tell because they had their guitars in STANDS! So I ask you, recording vocals in a bedroom or watching a Blackie Lawless look-a-like singing AC/DC song in a lower vocal range. I made the right choice. So you see when the bad reviews come through I tend to end up agreeing with them.

Now then, for this album the good reviews have been smashing, they have been wonderful. Some of the reviewers are hearing concepts in the album that are not even there. I like that, read into the album what you will. The people who are giving us good reviews tend to ‘get it’, they understand our vibe, they know that we are not taking piss, they know that we are enjoying ourselves, they know that we are honouring the majesty of HEAVY METAL and they know that we are meat and potatoes and don’t give a kitten’s piss what some guardian of Precious Metal thinks. STOP PRESS, I have just come up with name for the 4th (Yes 4th!) solo album, ‘Precious Metal’. Actually I think that there is an album called ‘Precious Metal’ it came out in the late 80s and had a lot of ballads on it. I think there was another album in the same series called ‘Soft Metal’, Jesus of the Christ, those were the days, Listening to Soft Metal, playing Kick Off on the Atari ST and wondering what girls tits felt like. My life today is very similar the only difference being is I now wonder what holding eight tits would be like, see I’m progressive.

I’m currently listening to a lot of classical music, I like to think it makes me more cultured. I can deal with Handel, he seemed to know what he was doing, also Bach, man that cat got the cream and drunk it all up. I bet in a few years time we will find out that they were both paedos, such is the current way of things. Other music currently giving the dog a bone is as follows, Bad Wizard, early Queen, Deep Purple Mark III, The Heavy Eyes and 80’s Prince. Remember when Prince was on the cover of Kerrang? Bold move, very bold, Metal Heads were even more close minded then than they are today, Imagine that?

Anyway, purchase THE DIVINE RIGHT OF KINGS by GROAN… it’s ‘fun’.


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About The Author

We are a four piece Doom 'n' Roll band from the UK. We like Classic Rock, boobs, Stonehenge, The Middle Ages and weed. Check us out on Facebook and on Twitter.

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