Five Reasons Why You Should Be At Bloodstock

Five Reasons Why You Should Be At Bloodstock 2011

Ken!

1. Us

Well, let’s start with the big one. We’ll be there. Yes, your favourite people in the whole wide world (shut up, we are) are going to set up camp, drink a few bottles of gin & go for a naked jog about the campsite. Probably the best thing you’ll see all weekend.

2. Forbidden

14 years ago, Forbidden dropped Green in our laps. Now, Brown might have been a more appropriate title so it was a pleasant surprise when 2010′s Omega Wave pissed on it from a considerable height. They could have done a Grave, chucked together some recycled riffs with less variation than the output of a particularly unambitious Breville sandwich maker. Bish, bash, bosh, 3/5, on with the groupies. Instead, Steve Smyth bringing an extra string to the mix & big Russ remembering he could shatter scrota with his highs, they reminded the world that a good reunion album doesn’t have to play it safe.

3. Primordial

Having just put out the best album of their career, we’ve got high hopes that Nemtheanga (Alan to his mates) & pals will make their UK open air debut one to remember. As long as we get Coffin Ships & Lain With The Wolf, I will do a celebratory jig.

4. Morbid Angel

This is going to go one of two ways. Either (and I’ll admit this is the less likely option), Evil D & chum(p)s will storm the stage to Immortal Rites before ripping everyone a new hole to piss from with Rapture. A blinding set of classics causes us to forget their recent effort & as they close with Where The Slime Live, everyone joins in a chant of “We forgive you!”. The other possibility is that they play the hour-long extended mix of Radikult as Vincent wipes his sweaty ringpiece on original vinyl pressings of Altars before stamping on them & kicking them into the crowd. There’s definitely no chance they will wobble from side to side with cold dead eyes & play an utterly pedestrian set featuring a couple tracks off the new album & a few hits. It just couldn’t happen….

5. Wintersun

The ironically titled Time has now been in production for longer than recorded history but their appearance at festivals around Europe hopefully means that Jari is approaching his majestic vision. That or his mum is sick of the smell of week old feces emanating from the basement. Mopped clean & shoved on stage, there’s exactly one new song in their current setlist so at this rate, we can expect Time in 2041. Unless the builders next-door start work again.

Check back soon for the imaginatively titled Five More Reasons Why You Should Be At Bloodstock which may or may not contain nude pictures of Dripback.

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About The Author

Ewen
A misanthropic cretin only capable of hate & compulsive masturbation. Follow or abuse him on Twitter or Last.fm. When he's not listening to obscure 80s thrash, he likes power ballads & torture porn.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Fireheed Ross Fireheed Maclean

    Not why I’d go but good enough reasons I spose.  Cant wait to see Exodus again, it’ll be weird changing  from the tiny fucking oven that is the wee place next to the Garage and seeing them at a massive festival.

  • sharpo

    What bout the most important reason…. coroner!

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