Merry Fucking Christmas
In a rare change from tradition, we have a band we actually like putting out a Christmas song. Oh and that cunt from Slipknot has one too.
Liverpool’s crossover kings, SSS have a Merry Christmasss, a 1:32 critique of the wasteful state of modern seasonal celebrations. It’s probably the perfect soundtrack if you are sitting down to a Christmas dinner of home-grown vegan mush before spraying anti-capitalist slogans outside HBSC & putting a window out of the local Nationwide. SSS are giving away their track in exchange for a couple of your personal details over at http://www.earache.com/xmaSSS/. I can’t be sure if this is for Earache’s own use or whether it’s getting added to a list of local communist sympathisers but either way, the track is a beast so go get it.
Corey Taylor is also at it & the chubby face of corporate metal seems to be having a personality crisis. He seems to be unaware of the fact that he’s not in Hell Yeah & goes for a comedy Southern accent that makes him sound even more like a dick. It features the lines :
If I ain’t hammered it ain’t Hanukkah
And all you motherfuckers go to hell
If I ain’t cock-eyed then it ain’t Quanza
Joy to the world of Jack & cokes
If I ain’t drunk, then it ain’t Christmas
Cos I ain’t ever anything but broke
This makes me suspect that Mr Stone Sour has a poor understanding of how time works. It manages to combine my 2 least favourite things novelty Xmas songs & brainless, middle of the road, American hard rock nonsense but the end result is something far more vomit inducing. It even ends with a cheeky “Hi Simon!” nod to Rage Against The Machine’s victory over the X-Factor Xmas single. If Corey Taylor expects he’s going to reach number 1 with this turgid slice of audio-feces, I’m going to have to shoot him. If it reaches number1, I’m going to have to shoot myself.
This song is being released as a single to make money for kids with cancer. Well, if they are lucky they won’t see another Christmas & won’t have to hear this fucking song again.
Just kidding, go buy it or better yet, give some cash to our favourite charity, Kidz wit Tumourz N Shit.