The Christmas Showdown – SSS Vs Corey Taylor

SSS Vs Corey Taylor

Merry Christmas, You Cunts

Merry Fucking Christmas

In a rare change from tradition, we have a band we actually like putting out a Christmas song. Oh and that cunt from Slipknot has one too.

Liverpool’s crossover kings, SSS have a Merry Christmasss, a 1:32 critique of the wasteful state of modern seasonal celebrations. It’s probably the perfect soundtrack if you are sitting down to a Christmas dinner of home-grown vegan mush before spraying anti-capitalist slogans outside HBSC & putting a window out of the local Nationwide. SSS are giving away their track in exchange for a couple of your personal details over at http://www.earache.com/xmaSSS/. I can’t be sure if this is for Earache’s own use or whether it’s getting added to a list of local communist sympathisers but either way, the track is a beast so go get it.

 

SSS - Merry Christmasss

Corey Taylor is also at it & the chubby face of corporate metal seems to be having a personality crisis. He seems to be unaware of the fact that he’s not in Hell Yeah & goes for a comedy Southern accent that makes him sound even more like a dick. It features the lines :

If I ain’t hammered it ain’t Hanukkah
And all you motherfuckers go to hell
If I ain’t cock-eyed then it ain’t Quanza
Joy to the world of Jack & cokes
If I ain’t drunk, then it ain’t Christmas
Cos I ain’t ever anything but broke

This makes me suspect that Mr Stone Sour has a poor understanding of how time works. It manages to combine my 2 least favourite things novelty Xmas songs & brainless, middle of the road, American hard rock nonsense but the end result is something far more vomit inducing. It even ends with a cheeky “Hi Simon!” nod to Rage Against The Machine’s victory over the X-Factor Xmas single. If Corey Taylor expects he’s going to reach number 1 with this turgid slice of audio-feces, I’m going to have to shoot him. If it reaches number1, I’m going to have to shoot myself.

This song is being released as a single to make money for kids with cancer. Well, if they are lucky they won’t see another Christmas & won’t have to hear this fucking song again.

 

Corey Taylor - XM@$

Just kidding, go buy it or better yet, give some cash to our favourite charity, Kidz wit Tumourz N Shit.

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About The Author

Ewen
A misanthropic cretin only capable of hate & compulsive masturbation. Follow or abuse him on Twitter or Last.fm. When he's not listening to obscure 80s thrash, he likes power ballads & torture porn.

  • J Bowman_619

    Hey ewen;
    Fa la la la la Go Fuck Yourself!!!

  • Richard

    I tried to listen to it all. It was horrible. Corey Taylor spent the kast 12 years in SlapKnob going on about how hard he was then releases a punk-pop pile of pish. I hate him even hore than I didn before. Which was quite a lot.

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