Absolute Power – Absolute Power

Absolute Power

Absolute Power

Absolute Priapism

Someone has written a love letter. A big soppy one, scrawled lovingly on pink crepe paper. Tenderly, they placed it in a time machine & sent it back to 1976 where it was opened by a young Robert John Arthur Halford. The letter simply read “Dear heavy metal. We love you. Signed, Absolute Power”. Oh & there were a few kisses. Now, supergroups of uber-producers & massively prolific metal legends paying tribute to the heavy metal gods might not be anything new so you might be asking “Why should we care?”. Well, when it comes from the heart & it’s this well written, there’s nothing better to get your denim clad penis bothering the neighbours.

I suppose it’s unfair to say this nowadays but your opinion on this album will doubtless be linked to the age old question. Hammerfall, yay or nay? The plucky Swedes might have been dribbling out sub-par piddle at the rate of a defective kidney for the last half decade but they are still your best reference point for Absolute Power. Simon Efemey’s vocals are exactly what we can expect from a post-puberty Joacim Cans whilst the choral outros of Sea Of Horns & the irresistible hooks of Secrets are reminiscent of a youthful, revitalised version of a sadly, long-pump band.

Raging Pursuer is about as Judas Priest as you can get without trading in all your clothing for some leather, studded Y-fronts & a tattoo of Glenn Tipton’s mum. Full Metal Roar has some guitar work even K.K. would be proud of whilst Faster Than The Speed Of Evil must certainly have been omitted from Painkiller due to a pressing error. I can see no possible way that it didn’t have a Tipton, Downing & Halford writing credit.

Refusing to ever sound like a side-project, a diversion or a  joke, the production & playing is unsurprisingly spot on based on the lineage. Warm, chunky tones, anthemic choruses & riffs that bury right into your soul to live forever like some kind of musical STI. Seriously, there’s enough metal here to armour plate the whole of Saxon twice & still have enough to make good start on Nick Barker’s left tit.

Like Us

Or Spread Us Like Your Mum's Legs

« »

About The Author

Ewen
A misanthropic cretin only capable of hate & compulsive masturbation. Follow or abuse him on Twitter or Last.fm. When he's not listening to obscure 80s thrash, he likes power ballads & torture porn.

Nightwish Pain
Powered by WordPress | Theme: A badly molested Motion by 85ideas. Written by 2 cunts that have too much time on their hands.