Adrenaline Mob – Omerta

Adrenaline Mob

Adrenaline Mob

Adrenaline Plop

“…. and you’ll let me play mediocre hard rock?” sobbed the pathetic figure sat by the side of the road, tattered trainers absorbing rainwater from the gutter. “I don’t have to play poly-rhythms any more?”

“Yes”, Russell reassured him, “I haven’t broken a sweat since we started.” Pulling himself to his feet, he dusted the basketball jersey off & climbed into the idling camper van.

“Ok but we get to cover Duran Duran!” he yelped excitedly. “And I want ice cream!”

Orlando grinned smugly. “Whatever you want, Michael. Now, we just need to go round Fozzy’s house & see if any of them are free.”

Remember Godsmack? No, well, Adrenaline Mob do. Not only do they remember them but it appears they might have erected a small shrine to them in their practice space & written “I <3 Sully Erna” on the back of their maths jotter. Opener Undaunted is taken straight from the late nineties school of defiant songs about an unspecified threat (possibly puberty) all set to Baby’s First Metal Riff ™. Were it not for the pedigree involved, they’d get themselves a C- & a note saying “must try harder” but we aren’t talking about some fresh-faced buffoons who just bought their first Stratocaster knock off. No, Portnoy regularly occupies the top spot in WURLDZBESTDUMMIST lists & Russell Allen can have both his balls in my mouth whenever he wants because he did this. Things slump even further with the abysmal Psychosane which appears to have been penned as the theme tune for a UFC fighter whose gimmick I can only assume is looking a bit like Zakk Wylde. There is no excuse for the lack of creativity on show here.

In fact, the album peaks on a Duran Duran cover & that is a phrase I never thought I’d utter. Regardless of what you think of Halestorm (in my case, it was “who?”), Lizzy Hale can sing & she plays off well against Allen turning Simon Le Bon’s adult contemporary classic into something for children. At least it is a change of pace from the middle of the road Black Label-isms. Elsewhere, we get the prerequisite ballad, Angel Skies which thankfully doesn’t outstay its welcome & the guitar work remains tastefully restrained throughout.

Closer Freight Train offers you a brief glimmer of light before dashing your hopes of a Nitro cover against the cruel, hard rocks of a generic stop-start riff from a man who recently learnt the pinch harmonic as he injects them haphazardly all over the shop. Technical competence will never overcome shitty songwriting, Mr Orlando. The sooner you learn this, the better off we will all be.

From the terrible Godfather inspired logo to the cover artwork (mobsters & cigarettes & skulls & shit), everything about this package stinks of a product well past its sell-by date. The most fun you can have with this album is to count the number of times big Russ screams “motherfuckin’” & then consult my catchily named “If you use the word Motherfuckin’ more than 0 times, you can fuck off” chart. Inexcusably average, this is the musical equivalent of fat guy wearing a Tap Out shirt.

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About The Author

Ewen
A misanthropic cretin only capable of hate & compulsive masturbation. Follow or abuse him on Twitter or Last.fm. When he's not listening to obscure 80s thrash, he likes power ballads & torture porn.

  • Head Ov Metal

    This made my day! Too funny! And sadly true.

  • http://www.nomadiquemc.com/ nomadiqueMC

    that was pretty tame Ewen. you went easy on them. i am disappoint.

  • http://www.leavethehall.co.uk/ Ewen Cameron

    Apologies, I will try harder next time :D

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stu-Moore/100000468259938 Stu Moore

    Couldn’t agree more here – was expecting something spectacular with this lineup, but there was just far too much room for improvement on the album to even contemplate giving them any credit.
    They’ve got potential though – the next album had better fulfil this potential or they’re well and truly fucked.

  • Suckmyfuckingdickewenyougay

    Ive  seen plenty FAGGOT reviews on this “website”‘ but now your going for MIKE PORTENOY? SHOW RESPECT FOR THE MASTERS OF METAL U STUPUID FUCKING CUNT, you AND YOUR GAYYYY FAGGOT BLOG CAN FUCK OFF AND DIE, iI fUCKING HATE THIS SHIT!!!  faggot

  • ScottishBastard

    Who is Portenoy? The Mexican immigrant equivalent? I’ve seen many retarded comments on this magnificent website but you sir are one of the worst. We’re you dropped as a child? Not only are you illiterate you can’t tell that this band are just a pile of shart. Spazz.

    10/10 review

  • Black Pussy

    Dream Theater is terrible. This Porteney or whatever isn’t a big deal to anybody that isn’t a shitty prog-metal-lite fanboy like you.

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