Hellyeah – Stampede

Vinnie Paul's auction of his toilet comes with a free copy of Stampede to put in it

Vinnie Paul's auction of his toilet comes with a free copy of Stamede to put in it

Hellnaw

super-
pref.

  1. Above; over; upon: superimpose.
  2. Superior in size, quality, number, or degree: superfine.
  3. Exceeding a norm: supersaturate.

group
–noun

  1. Any collection or assemblage of persons or things; cluster; aggregation: a group of protesters; a remarkable group of paintings.
  2. A number of persons or things ranged or considered together as being related in some way.

Hellyeah are keen to remind us that they are a ‘supergroup’. Formed from such metal luminaries as Pantera, Damageplan, Nothingface & …. um, Mudvayne, Hellyeah’s brand of metal-tinged hard rock sold over 400,000 copies of their debut. In fact, the whole PR campaign around this album is desperate to remind you of these facts. All this implies two things: firstly, the PR company has actually listened to this album & secondly, 400,000? Seriously?

Stampede doesn’t bother messing with their self-titled debut’s winning formula: 12 generic metal songs about drinking, fucking & trucking. Hell Of A Time has the potential to be something more than average but rather than capitalise, they repeat the chorus about 400 times in 3:41 & it begins to grate around number 50. High point of the album is the Down meets Alice In Chains on a budget Order of the Sun. We also get a bonus live track of their previous hit Alcohaulin’ Ass, a proud member of the lol wut’ school of song naming.

Better Man tries to wander into epic southern ballad territory but ends up wallowing somewhere closer to Staind than Skynyrd. In a spectacular display of  unintentional irony, this cautionary tale about the dangers of alcohol addiction & drunken parents fits really well in the middle of a collection of songs about partying. I hear the next album is going to be called Guns Are Fucking Cool & feature a ballad about Nathan Gale.

Musically, they take no risks & the end result is a bland sandwich of their respective sounds. There is a healthy level of cheese & that’s about the only positive to take from it. If an anemic Reinventing The Steel decided to recruit a nu-metal dream team that would lose a University Challenge showdown with Motley Crue, you’d probably end up with Hellyeah. Needless to say, Vinnie Paul’s stature adds considerable weight (as does his tits) & I have no doubt this will sell 400,000 copies through a combination of inbreeding, low IQs & nostalgia.

Hellyeah are a testament to the power of goodwill. Sometimes you have to march up to the orphaned child and say, I know your family is dead, but that drawing is fucking shite son. Chad Gray helpfully asks “Am  I Alive & Well, Or Just Wasting Space” on the song Alive & Well. Unfortunately for Hellyeah, it’s the latter. They are indeed a group & they do exceed a norm thereby meeting all the criteria of a supergroup. It’s just a shame they are supershit.

0.5 Grimmetts *

* The half Grimmett is given only because this isn’t quite as awful as War Is The Answer & I don’t want to devalue the humiliation of receiving a 5 Oli Sykes.

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About The Author

Ewen
A misanthropic cretin only capable of hate & compulsive masturbation. Follow or abuse him on Twitter or Last.fm. When he's not listening to obscure 80s thrash, he likes power ballads & torture porn.

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  • Mike Milburn

    You’re completely missing the point, not Metal Hammer. Sure, this album isn’t outstanding and it doesn’t break any new ground, but Heavy Metal is purely and simply about having a good time, rocking on; which is exactly what people (apart from the dickhead that wrote this) will do. And although sarcasm has sadly become the tone of most conversation these days, that quip about Nathan Gale was going too far. What is wrong with you? I think your country’s climate has begun to really fuck with you. Grow up.

  • Mike Milburn

    You’re completely missing the point, not Metal Hammer. Sure, this album isn’t outstanding and it doesn’t break any new ground, but Heavy Metal is purely and simply about having a good time, rocking on; which is exactly what people (apart from the dickhead that wrote this) will do. And although sarcasm has sadly become the tone of most conversation these days, that quip about Nathan Gale was going too far. What is wrong with you? I think your country’s climate has begun to really fuck with you. Grow up.

  • http://www.ewengcameron.com ewen

    We didn’t go too far. Hellyeah, however, did. They took all the goodwill of the public & churned out a big sack of shit. As far as I am aware, heavy metal was never about being a moron.

  • http://www.ewengcameron.com ewen

    We didn’t go too far. Hellyeah, however, did. They took all the goodwill of the public & churned out a big sack of shit. As far as I am aware, heavy metal was never about being a moron.

  • http://www.thisisnotascene.com Ross

    Top review, I was almost tempted to have a listen to this album until I read this… Very enlightening!

  • http://www.thisisnotascene.com Ross

    Top review, I was almost tempted to have a listen to this album until I read this… Very enlightening!

  • faggotchrist

    Mike Millburn probably cries into his own pubic hair each night about how that man said a nasty thing

  • faggotchrist

    meanwhile real metal existed

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