Theirs is the Kingdom of Steel
Reviewing a Manowar release in any conventional way makes about as much sense as reviewing anal sex. Manowar are, like anal sex, something you will try once and make a life-long decision regarding. To this end, I’m not going to waste my time explaining to you that they are the greatest band in the world, that seeing them live will change your life or that sometimes I have Eric Adams based wet dreams.
No, instead I’m going to advise you on whether its worth forking out £12+ on a 6 track EP, one of the songs being a re-recording of a previous song. At a rate of over £2 per new track, is this a bargain? Well, no, its not a bargain. Its not even reasonable, but Manowar are not a reasonable band.
The EP marks a distinct return to form after the last album which comprised mainly of filler & spoken word tracks. Instead, we get 4 suitably epic tracks on the subject of steel, honour and death in battle. Final track, God Or Man stands out as a an excellent future classic with some surprisingly good drum work from Scott Columbus.
They’ve also re-recorded The Crown And The Ring, one of their standout tracks from their classic Kings of Metal album and, along with a metric ton of fireworks, the song they close their live set with. The new metal version mixes out the orchestral backing in favour of a heavier guitar sound and it sounds as epic as the original.
Special note should be made of Father, a perfect acoustic ballad for those of us with parents who aren’t Josef Fritzl. There is a second disc which includes versions of this song in Bulgarian, Croatian, Finnish, French, German, Greek, Hungarian, Italian, Japanese, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Spanish & Turkish. For any other band, this would be a massive undertaking but Manowar probably translated and recorded the whole thing in an afternoon.
I’ll leave you probably the best lyrics ever written:
Hands that never take
Can only give
And because of you
I know how to live
Manowar – Father
I’m not going to bother telling you to buy this because if you are a Manowar fan you already own 2 copies and if you aren’t, then leave the hall, for you are a wimp & a poser.