Mastodon – The Hunter

Mastodon - The Hunter

Mastodon - The Hunter

Mastodung

It’s come that time again, folks. I’ve crawled out from under my rock to hurl incoherent abuse at another poor old metal band who’ve committed the cardinal sin of doing something different. So what have they done to get me riled up enough to pull my shit encrusted fingers from my battered ringpiece & bother my keyboard? Wearing the wrong shoes? Not knowing the correct dance moves to Warriors of the World? Have an incomplete 180gm vinyl discography of Manilla Road? Let’s find out, shall we?

We start off promisingly enough with the lumbering riffs of Black Tongue which are the closest they’ve come yet to recapturing the magic of Leviathan. A sudden change of pace shatters my hopes for another bowel-bothering classic however with the radio-friendly pop metal offering, Curl of the Burl. Sounding like a particularly dull Queens of the Stone Age, I’d rather eat a bag of dicks than sit through it again. Blasteroid carefully binds a great song & a shit song together like some sort of demented caduceus where one of the snakes is a stringy, anaemic turd. It’s yet another case of hits & misses for Atlanta’s beardiest. The same issue they’ve struggled with on the mostly great Blood Mountain & fairly average Crack The Skye.

The first half of Creature Lives was done by Pink Floyd in 79 & the second half originally performed as a camp fire sing-a-long by the recently lobotomised. Luckily the fantastic, crushing Spectrelight (Scott Kelly <3) harks back to the heady days of Blood Mountain & warms my cold dead heart for a few minutes. Things slump again on the bizarre Bedazzled Fingernails before fizzling out as The Sparrow meanders through Cynic territory. For a few moments, it threatens to nail it’s colours to the mast of progressive techdeath before wimping out & leaving a faint smell of urine in it’s trail.

The hiring of Mike Elizondo to produce The Hunter is as inexplicable as Bob Rock’s Metallica accidents & with production credits including Snoop Dogg & Natasha Bedingfield, he’s clearly the man for the job. The end result is far too clinical for a band of Mastodon’s sludgey roots. Then again, the guy’s played bass for Sheryl Crow. Top that, Matt Bayles.

It’s not a bad album. I don’t think Mastodon have it in them to release a bad album but what it is is overproduced, incoherent & fucking boring. Barring the opener & Spectrelight, there wasn’t one minute that I wasn’t wondering if I’d left the fridge open or locked the cat in the bathroom again. A second misstep from one of the only interesting metal bands to achieve mainstream recognition in the past decade. If Remission was their Ride The Lighting & Leviathan their Master of Puppets, then The Hunter is the Black Album. You’ll excuse me if I skip their Reload but I don’t think I’ve buggered enough orphans yet to deserve that specific form of aural molestation.

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About The Author

Ewen
A misanthropic cretin only capable of hate & compulsive masturbation. Follow or abuse him on Twitter or Last.fm. When he's not listening to obscure 80s thrash, he likes power ballads & torture porn.

  • Gerold

    Can you really call yourself a Mastodon fan if you only care about their older albums? Crack the Skye “average” ? More like their best album/songwriting to date with The Hunter not far behind.

    And this needs to be said: Blood Mountain > Leviathan. Why? Superior production and more expansive songwriting. The same reason why Master of Puppets > Ride The Lightning. 

  • curl of the snurl

    your reviewing technique sucks. This album does not suck. why do metal heads always feel that you have to have to reference a bands career to metallica????

    I think in your review you forgot to notice all the monster guitar solos, ultimate drumming and great lyrics. 

    Not to mention the cover has a big stag with 3 jaws on the front. 

    I think you need to stop smoking crack and fucking racoons and listen to the album again

  • the Creature

    I heard him laugh and say he never liked them anyway

  • Reginaldplinux

    Yeah, the more stag jaws your album cover has, the better it is.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dick-Move/100001336953862 Dick Move

    “why do metal heads always feel that you have to have to reference a bands career to metallica????”
    Could it be because, in this instance, the whole fucking album sounds like B-grade Derptallica?

    Everything about this album is pure mediocrity.  Tedious, asinine, boring, middle-of-road music that barely passes for ‘metal’ that just so happens to be in the fortunate position of appearing vaguely intellectual and trendy.

    Fuck, ZZ Top are a bunch of geriatric coffin-dodgers and they groove way harder than these boring cunts.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Dick-Move/100001336953862 Dick Move

    And I salute thee for your Doom House reference.

  • progfacejack

    u iz a faggot ewen go burn in a fuck

  • The_Cathedral

    wait how can u even hate on mastodon, possiblly the best metal band in the world today :S  its obvious ur a faggot, go listen 2 iron maiden with ur gay faggot buddys you fuckin faggot and leave the opinions 2 the pros!!!!  gay fuckin faggot blog

  • http://twitter.com/WhiteRhinoTea Chris

    Tossmonkey

  • Ryan

    Whoa, looks like Zack Galifanalikanalikopodopoulous started the Atkins diet in that photo at the top.

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