The Haunted – Unseen

The Haunted

The Haunted

Haunted By The Fact They Didn’t Use To Suck

What the fuck? Seriously. What the shitting fuck? Remember Made Me Do It? Thrashy death metal, frantic yet memorable guitar work, Marco Aro‘s powerful vocal delivery, metronome-tight drum work. Well, take that thought & bin it. Unseen kicks off with Never Better which would have been better placed in a Nu-Metal’s Worst Moments list than the back catalogue of a band with so much pedigree they make Triple H look like feral, mixed-breed runt. To be fair, I can’t remember listening to anything they’ve put out since One Kill Wonder. The fact that I have a couple of those interim albums suggests two things. Firstly, they were nowhere near as good as OKW & secondly, they were nowhere near as awful as Unseen.

No Ghost is more reminiscent of Clutch. Groove-laden, bluesy hard rock doesn’t suit Dolving. In fact, it doesn’t suit any of the band. What the fuck were they smoking when they wrote this shit? Seriously. I’m going to have to use the word seriously again because I’m deadly serious. What the fuck happened to The Haunted? Catch 22 is a bad pastiche of Deftones meets Faith No More. The Bjorlers are having an identity crisis. The progenitors of melodic death metal have realised that whilst they created one of the most distinctive sounds of the ninties, other shit was going down & now they want to have a go at it. Imagine Jonathan Davis having a crack at the Gothenburg sound, Kurt Cobain‘s gangsta rap album. The cringe factor is comparable.

The Skull sees Dolving‘s seminal death vocals being replaced with a poor Maynard James Kennan impression by a pre-pubescent child whilst The City is screamo to a level so bad, I am unaware of any reasonable comparisons. There is one good harmonic on Them. That’s it. The single positive point of this whole album lasts less than a second. There’s an argument that this is a progressive album. That it might be a bit hit & miss as they try out new ideas. Well, it’s all miss & it makes Unit 731′s idea of the word experimental seem reasonable & humane.

I’ve thought about this for over an hour now & I really can’t work it out. What was going through the heads of some of the greatest minds in melodic death metal when they thought the world needed an incoherent, second rate genre-mash of an album? Maybe they figured they’d get in on the ground floor of the inevitable groove/nu-metal revival. Yes, that’s the feeling of dread you’ve all had for the past 6 months. It’s coming back with vengeance & it’s going to eclipse deathcore, djent & screamo. If that was the plan, then I wish them best of the luck with the sea of 12 year old pussy they’ll soon be swimming in. As for me, I’m digging in for another 5 years of mediocrity, embarrassment & baggy jeans. I’ve got my Triptykon vinyl & a thermos full of Asda Smart-Price gin.

Do your blood pressure a favour, skip this irredeemably awful contribution to the world of music. R.I.P. The Haunted.

5 Oli Sykes & a request to leave the hall

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About The Author

Ewen
A misanthropic cretin only capable of hate & compulsive masturbation. Follow or abuse him on Twitter or Last.fm. When he's not listening to obscure 80s thrash, he likes power ballads & torture porn.

  • Dreaded209

    i very much disagree, but everyone is entitled to their “opinion” no matter how ineloquently put. Its a shame everyone cant just be like slayer or slipknot or whatever floats YOUR boat..myself, i find that stuff stale and uninteresting…and the shit that just tries to be faster faster faster and evil and stagnant..is as bad as post black album metallica in my eyes…Unseen is a great record with a wide scope and a lot of heart…well, thats my opinion…i just hope im wrong in assuming i will get an attack back for this “simple comment with no insults”.

  • BenB

    “Its a shame everyone cant just be like slayer or slipknot” HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

  • http://www.leavethehall.co.uk/ Ewen Cameron

    We have a strict “be offensive all the time” policy here. Please come back & call us cunts. Unseen is abysmal. I thought I’d put on the wrong CD. Couldn’t believe it was The Haunted.

  • Dreaded209

    its funny you called it abysmal, as that track on revolver had some amazing use of melodic vocals to contrast their heavyness. i think the contrast factor is a key element in both the haunted and the new wave of swedish death metal. fair enough it isnt for everyone, but, as i said in my opinion, its pretty damn good. as for offensive all the time, fair doos fella..or should i say..cunt :P have a good un and feel free to post examples of other bands that have depth of expression that you admire. i’d like to hear em!

  • http://www.leavethehall.co.uk/ Ewen Cameron

    Cormorant are the perfect example of a band that can do everything well.

  • Billhaven

    Ashes to aaaashes

    Stuck in my head after one listen. Nu-tastic. 10/10

  • Creationbassist

    I like torture porn too. Fuck The Haunted, a good example of a band that have snatched mediocrity from the jaws of excellence. Its a shame that cunts like that don’t know when to quit.

  • Ewenisadick

    “bluesy hard rock doesn’t suit Dolving” – you clearly don’t know anything about dolvings other bands then.

  • http://www.leavethehall.co.uk/ Ewen Cameron

    The Peter Dolving Band? Fuck The Peter Dolving Band. Utter guff. 

  • your a tube!

    the fact that you think one kill wonder is the haunteds best album clearly shows that you know jut about fuck all…
    so now go listen to unseen again (its a grower you might have heard of the concept)!
    when you realsie its amazing and your an elitist cum stain!

  • LEAVE THE HALL IS GAAAAY

    UGH yet more examples of 1st class FAGGOTRY from th world’s GAYEST blog!!  you don’t know a god dam thing and if this is all yo got to offer, youve got NO future unless they start employing full time profesional FAGGOTS, FUCK YOU LEAVE THE HALK

  • SUCK MY DICK EQWEN

    I AGREE with LEAVE THE HALL IS GAAAAAY, this blog is a fucking menagerie of GAY and FAIL and so r its owner,s you bunch of queerhawk faggot thrash fags!!!!  FUCK UR BLOG AND UR GAY OPINIONS THE HAUNTED = GREATEST THING EVER SO STFU U DONT KNOW SHIOT ABOUT MUSIC FAGGOTS

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Stu-Moore/100000468259938 Stu Moore

     who let this guy near a keyboard? someone should sack your careworkers, mate.

  • MetalDread

     could have sworn i posted this a year ago but its not here?? deleted??

    “Its funny you called it abysmal, as that track on revolver had some
    amazing use of melodic vocals to contrast their heavyness. i think the
    contrast factor is a key element in both the haunted and the new wave of
    swedish death metal. fair enough it isnt for everyone, but, as i said
    in my opinion, its pretty damn good. as for offensive all the time, fair
    doos fella..or should i say..cunt :P have a good un and feel free to
    post examples of other bands that have depth of expression that you
    admire. i’d like to hear em!”

  • http://www.leavethehall.co.uk/ Ewen Cameron

    Comment is still here :  http://www.leavethehall.co.uk/reviews/albums/the-haunted-unseen/#comment-167664359 
    As I said, Cormorant. Listen to Cormorant. http://cormorant.bandcamp.com/

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