Tag Archive: 3


Amon Amarth – Surtur Rising

Amon Amarth – Surtur Rising

Amon Amarth – Surtur Rising

Amon Amarth have done more than any other to give rise to this lamentable trend of metal fans deciding that they are in fact Viking warriors, a strange affliction whereby any fat beardy with long hair and the iq of a child can consider himself to be some sort of warrior legend descended from a long line of Norse noblemen, rather than the sad loser that greets him in the mirror each day due only to his taste in music. In this respect it is fair to say that perhaps only Manowar have done more to make metal fans look utterly pathetic and even more like the socially inept virgins they inevitably are.

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Omnium Gatherum – New World Shadows

Omnium Gatherum – New World Shadows

Omnium Gatherum – New World Shadows

Omnium Gatherum & I have a strange relationship. Sometimes they have me convinced they are the second coming, meticulously combining atmospheric, progressive structures with the aggression of a crossbow wielding, privately schooled nutcase. Seconds later though, I find them ruining things with a concerted In Flames impression or, god forbid, a keyboard-driven gay part (that’s a technical term for clean vocals). Anyway, this habit has been rearing it’s ugly head more & more often with too many melodic flourishes at the expense of some good, old fashioned brutality. The emphasis has been on the melo-, not the death, leading them dangerously close to that musical cul-de-sac that is “metal my bird likes”. Luckily, they’ve managed to make this one not suck. Until track 3.

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Blue Gillespie – Synesthesia

Blue Gillespie – Synesthesia

Blue Gillespie – Synesthesia

Blue Gillespie describe their namesake as, and I quote:

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3 Inches of Blood – Here Waits Thy Doom

3 Inches of Blood – Here Waits Thy Doom

3 Inches of Blood – Here Waits Thy Doom

Everyone’s favourite retro metal traditionalists/parody band returns with their new offering. It seems like they’re getting more traditional and ‘true’ with every album, though that isn’t necessarily a good thing as this, like their last album, falls a bit flat. Advance and Vanquish was so ridiculous and over the top as to be beyond criticism of any kind, even containing a trilogy of songs about Pirates that didn’t make me want to vomit diarrhoea for insulting Running Wild (unlike the tediously shit Failstorm). Then, sadly, 3 Inches of Blood made the fatal error of believing they were a proper band with some serious ideas and Fire Up The Blades was fairly wank.

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