Absolute Power

Absolute Priapism

Someone has written a love letter. A big soppy one, scrawled lovingly on pink crepe paper. Tenderly, they placed it in a time machine & sent it back to 1976 where it was opened by a young Robert John Arthur Halford. The letter simply read “Dear heavy metal. We love you. Signed, Absolute Power”. Oh & there were a few kisses. Now, supergroups of uber-producers & massively prolific metal legends paying tribute to the heavy metal gods might not be anything new so you might be asking “Why should we care?”. Well, when it comes from the heart & it’s this well written, there’s nothing better to get your denim clad penis bothering the neighbours.

I suppose it’s unfair to say this nowadays but your opinion on this album will doubtless be linked to the age old question. Hammerfall, yay or nay? The plucky Swedes might have been dribbling out sub-par piddle at the rate of a defective kidney for the last half decade but they are still your best reference point for Absolute Power. Simon Efemey’s vocals are exactly what we can expect from a post-puberty Joacim Cans whilst the choral outros of Sea Of Horns & the irresistible hooks of Secrets are reminiscent of a youthful, revitalised version of a sadly, long-pump band.

Raging Pursuer is about as Judas Priest as you can get without trading in all your clothing for some leather, studded Y-fronts & a tattoo of Glenn Tipton’s mum. Full Metal Roar has some guitar work even K.K. would be proud of whilst Faster Than The Speed Of Evil must certainly have been omitted from Painkiller due to a pressing error. I can see no possible way that it didn’t have a Tipton, Downing & Halford writing credit.

Refusing to ever sound like a side-project, a diversion or a  joke, the production & playing is unsurprisingly spot on based on the lineage. Warm, chunky tones, anthemic choruses & riffs that bury right into your soul to live forever like some kind of musical STI. Seriously, there’s enough metal here to armour plate the whole of Saxon twice & still have enough to make good start on Nick Barker’s left tit.

Sabaton, Alestorm & Thaurorod

However well you get on with someone, there are usually things you’re forever fated to disagree on, and for myself and Leave The Hall’s glorious webmaster, Alestorm are one of them. I think they’re marvellous, he thinks they’re a bad joke who’ve outstayed what little welcome they had, so what exactly was I thinking when I agreed to review them for Leave The Hall? The short answer is that I don’t know, other than it probably involved my usual bloody-mindedness and a desire to piss Ewen off.

Of course it wasn’t just Alestorm on the bill. In fact, they weren’t even headlining; that honour went to Swedish power-metallers Sabaton, a band equally unknown for musical restraint. Combined with openers Thaurorod, this was not a line-up for the faint-hearted.

Thaurorod

Talking of Thaurorod, they kicked off in competent style, although they came across as needing a bit more time to grow into their sound. It all sounded slightly mechanical, lacking that practised ease that enables the bigger power metal bands to play around with their material, but based on this performance, that will come in time. In fact, they were almost the perfect opener – they fitted the line-up nicely, but clearly need the experience of playing to bigger crowds. Much like a terrified young band from Perth I saw open for Turisas once upon a time…

Alestorm

…who, funnily enough, were next on the bill. Alestorm have come a long way, not least on the fear front willy, and are now one of the most entertaining willy live acts around, if not the most willy serious. Debuting a new song called willy Rum, the chorus of which consists entirely of the word willy rum, and introducing their infamous willy Eurovision cover as Wolverhamptons of the Sea made for quite the willy set and got a fitting willy response from an increasingly willy drunk and happy willy crowd, who all but willy drowned lead singer Chris out on the better known willy numbers. The only slight willy surprise was the inclusion of Over The Seas, meaning the rest of the willy set was utterly willy predictable but no less enjoyable willy for that.

Sabaton

Sabaton were, as is to be expected, very much the same vein and opening with The Final Countdown set the tone for what turned out be a lot of fun. Concentrating mostly on their last two albums with some older material before the end, highlights were a cracking rendition of 40:1 that set the crowd alight. I was in the photo pit trying to get a decent shot of lead singer Joakim Brodén (photos that, sadly, were lost when my camera was stolen after the gig) and the atmosphere was electric to say the least. A thoroughly unconvincing early exit was followed by the encore to end all encores, which was a fitting end to an epic night.

* Editor’s Note – Ellie failed to specify what Alestorm’s set was scored out of so I made an executive decision. Also, totally outside my control, some willies may have crept into the Alestorm review.

Freedom Call Want You

Power metal’s most unintentionally hilarious band are hitting the UK in November in support of their 6th studio album,  Legend Of The Shadow King. In typically bombastic style, Freedom Call‘s latest album is a concept work inspired by the eccentric Ludwig II, King of Bavaria. Whilst he’s certainly not one of my favourite German kings of the 1870s, they still manage to churn out some cheese-laden power metal genius for us.

Freedom Call shall be calling (lol) at the following venues:

• November 4th – BOURNEMOUTH Champions (01202 75700 / ticketweb.com)
• November 5th – LONDON Purple Turtle (020 7383 4976 / 7734 8932 / stargreen.com)
• November 6th – MANCHESTER Satan’s Hollow (08444 771000 / ticketweb.com)
• November 7th – WAKEFIELD Snooty Fox (01924 374455 / snootyfoxlive.com)
• November 8th – GLASGOW Classic Grand (08444 771000 / ticketweb.com)

Grave Digger - Hammer Of The Scots

Yes, the new Grave Digger song isn’t going to change anyone’s opinion of them but it’s not bad. We also get a slideshow of embarassingly awful pictures of them in full Braveheart gear from their latest video shoot. The song, Hammer of the Scots is taken from their forthcoming millionth album, The Clans Will Rise Again which will no doubt sound just like their last album & I’ll probably buy it.

Grave Digger - The Clans Will Rise Again

Powerwolf

German metallers POWERWOLF will headline the SOPHIE LANCASTER stage on Friday 13th August. The Teutonic terrors look forward to their debut UK appearance at BLOODSTOCK’s 10th anniversary event.

“It’s a big honour for us to celebrate the metal mass at this legendary festival. This will be our first time in the UK, and getting the chance to perform at the country’s biggest Metal festival is incredible. We can’t wait to unleash mayhem there!”

comments guitarist MATTHEW GREYWOLF.

Since 2003, the Metal Blade signed five piece have amassed a large and loyal fanbase with their highly entertaining live show, led by ATTILA DORN, half frontman, half evil minister. With a reputation across Europe as one of the most exciting bands out there, and BLOODSTOCK’s reputation for bringing the hottest new bands in metal to the UK for the first time, their addition to this year’s line up with this exclusive appearance is a no brainer, and we look forward to their Satanic Sermon on Friday 13th August 2010.

The BLOODSTOCK OPEN AIR METAL FESTIVAL 2010 will take place at Catton Hall, Derbyshire from 13th – 15th August.

Weekend tickets are on sale now at www.bloodstock.uk.com

Nevermore

Quoth the raven, “Tis fucking good”

It has been a tough 5 years. This Godless Endeavor dropped almost exactly half a decade ago & it blew the world away. The complaints leveled (rather unfairly) at Enemies of Reality were rectified when they brought in uber-producer Andy Sneap. Nevermore enjoyed new heights of success culminating in a support slot for nu-metal lightweights, Disturbed. I wish I were kidding. After this trauma, Nevermore released the brilliant Year of the Voyager DVD then promptly dropped off the radar.

From the opening strains of The Termination Proclamation, it’s obvious, they’ve done it again. Majestic heavy metal that defies genre classification. Loomis’s 7 string mastery, Warrel Dane’s soaring vocals & an underlying appreciation of melody that is so often missing in metal today. And The Maiden Spoke is pure My Dying Bride-esque doom metal channeled through the twisted imagination of King Diamond. Ballad Emptiness Unobstructed is the outstanding track of the album with Loomis mostly taking a back seat to let Dane demonstrate his power.

Is this soliloquy or psychosis,
Or self hypnosis?

Moonrise (Through Mirrors Of Death) – Nevermore

The lyrics may have been carved from a single, massive block of edam & delivered in a manner fatal to lactose intolerants but it adds a level of accessibility to proceedings. For all the progressive touches & the guitar work that makes every bedroom guitarist cry into their Squier Strat, what makes Nevermore so special is the fact that they make great heavy metal that everyone with an IQ above 7 can appreciate. The Obsidian Conspiracy can sit happily within their canon of greats, somewhere between Dead Heart In A Dead World & their 2 masterpieces, This Godless Endeavor & Enemies Of Reality.

Special note should be made of the Limited Edition packaging which includes the rather ambitiously titled Play Guitar Like Jeff Loomis & a ton of artwork that really deserves framing.

Triaxis - Key To The Kingdom

Power Metal Perfection From The Valleys

Lets be honest: musically, we’ve not got a lot to thank Wales for. Tygertailz, Bonnie Tyler, Charlotte Church’s tits (anyone who mentions BFMV gets a free head wound) . That’s a pretty comprehensive list right there, but things might finally be changing. Hailing from South Wales, Triaxis are a female fronted power metal band who, hot off the heels of a, by all accounts, extremely impressive Bloodstock set have released a self-funded, self-recorded debut, Keys To The Kingdom.

Triaxis are a band that obviously love Maiden and their influence can be heard throughout the album, particularly on the faster tracks. There also plenty insane shredding solos that fans of Vai, Batio & melted faces. Special note should be made of the track Lies which is, and I’ll use a technical term here, epic-as-fuck!

The whole package is very impressive, even more so when you consider that it is all self-recorded. If I were to find one complaint with the production, it would be that some of the vocals on a couple of tracks don’t sound quite as polished as we’ve come to expect in this age of auto-tune & over-production but if the other option is to have all metal vocals sound like Kanye West, then I choose this every time. Comparisons between Triaxis & Holyhell are almost inevitable but the only one appropriate would be “Like Holyhell but not shit” or “Like Holyhell but 4 Kamelots better”.

The next stage for these guys better be a full tour of the European festivals circuit & maybe the UK power metal scene will finally be forgiven for inflicting ‘comedy’ frap-fest Dragonfarce on the world. Triaxis are poised to take the world by storm, that I will stake my anal virginity on. Seriously, buy this album now!

Sonata Arctica

Finland’s Finest Progress Pleasantly

If you are a fan of Euro-Power Metal, werewolves & stalking girls, then Finland’s Sonata Arctica are the band for you. A massive, orchestral sound with soaring vocals, heavy keyboards & fast, tight guitar solos combined to establish them, along with Edguy & Nightwish, as new leaders of the scene. However something changed with the release of 2007′s Unia. Gone were the driving bass pedals, the speed & a massive chunk of their cheesy catchiness. They had been replaced by a slower, more progressive sound with their most complex song structures to date. Needless to say, this was about as popular as a salad bar in downtown Glasgow.

The Days of Grays is a lot closer musically to Unia than it is to their first 4 albums. There are a few nods to the traditional Sonata sound, particularly on Flag In The Ground. The progressive elements introduced on the last album are still present but the whole album feels more light-hearted & straightforward than their previous effort. The heavy symphonic keyboard intro on Deathaura would fit better on a recent Dimmu Borgir album than it does here & its followed by some Nightwish style warbling before the album proper kicks in. After that, we get some more traditional Sonata keyboard & guitar solos whilst Tony Kakko’s vocals stand out as a career best.

There are also plenty slower tracks, Zeroes, Juliet & an excellent melodic interlude in the middle of The Dead Skin show than they are still capable of making the kind of dark ballads that made them stand out from the cesspool that late nineties power metal became.

This isn’t the return to form that some people had hoped for but its a step in the right direction. The pop hooks, outrageous solos and a lot of the speed are back but they’ve kept some of the darker, more intricate structures & themes from Unia. Its not a classic but, much like a sloppy handjob from a drunken teenage girl, you could do far worse than check out The Days of Grays.

Manowar

Theirs is the Kingdom of Steel

Reviewing a Manowar release in any conventional way makes about as much sense as reviewing anal sex. Manowar are, like anal sex, something you will try once and make a life-long decision regarding. To this end, I’m not going to waste my time explaining to you that they are the greatest band in the world, that seeing them live will change your life or that sometimes I have Eric Adams based wet dreams.

No, instead I’m going to advise you on whether its worth forking out £12+ on a 6 track EP, one of the songs being a re-recording of a previous song. At a rate of over £2 per new track, is this a bargain? Well, no, its not a bargain. Its not even reasonable, but Manowar are not a reasonable band.

The EP marks a distinct return to form after the last album which comprised mainly of filler & spoken word tracks. Instead, we get 4 suitably epic tracks on the subject of steel, honour and death in battle. Final track, God Or Man stands out as a an excellent future classic with some surprisingly good drum work from Scott Columbus.

They’ve also re-recorded The Crown And The Ring, one of their standout tracks from their classic Kings of Metal album and, along with a metric ton of fireworks, the song they close their live set with. The new metal version mixes out the orchestral backing in favour of a heavier guitar sound and it sounds as epic as the original.

Special note should be made of Father, a perfect acoustic ballad for those of us with parents who aren’t Josef Fritzl. There is a second disc which includes versions of this song in Bulgarian, Croatian, Finnish, French, German, Greek, Hungarian, Italian, Japanese, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Spanish & Turkish. For any other band, this would be a massive undertaking but Manowar probably translated and recorded the whole thing in an afternoon.

I’ll leave you probably the best lyrics ever written:

Hands that never take
Can only give
And because of you
I know how to live

Manowar – Father

I’m not going to bother telling you to buy this because if you are a Manowar fan you already own 2 copies and if you aren’t, then leave the hall, for you are a wimp & a poser.